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 Mascara Tears

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Kaiti
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Posts : 94
Join date : 2007-11-30
Location : Pennsylvania, North America

PostSubject: Mascara Tears   Sun Dec 02, 2007 5:06 pm

Like, OMG, I makes story!

Mascara Tears

Chapter One
Neve Lanea walked with a tray to her master's room, the big palace though, was too easy to get lost in. She knelt before him, he had a whip in his hand a would use it if he wanted to.
" Master, he-here's your food..." Neve stammered.
" FOOL GIRL! YOU TOOK TO LONG!" The Master belted out, lashign the whip at her. She crumbled and fell, hitting her head of of the brick flooring, which was probably brick so it coudl hurt the servant girls.

Neve woke up, cold sweat dripping off her pale face. She looked at the clock.
" 3:00AM, I should be up by now..." Neve whispered to herself. She sat up, she had always gotten up at 3AM for some reason, she didn't know. All she knew was that it had been like that since she left soem sort of house at the age of 18.
" Crap, gotta get dressed, and make breakfast, and do all the work..." Neve said, starting to talk just above a whisper. She rolled out of bed, her short boyish hair messed into what looked like a bird's nest. She walked out into the kitchen, but as soon as she grabbed her dish she fell to the floor, a flashback occuring...


Last edited by on Mon Dec 03, 2007 3:44 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Kaiti
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PostSubject: Re: Mascara Tears   Mon Dec 03, 2007 3:44 pm

Chapter Two
Neve fell to the floor, hitting the rough floor. She went into the flashback...

"WHY YOU IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT GIRL, CAN YOU NOT DO ANYTHING, I SHOULDN'T OF KEPT YOU FOR MY OWN USE, YOU SERVE NO PURPOSE BUT BEING FOOLISH! I SHOULD HAVE SLAYED YOU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE!" The male's angery voice rang out. Neve's small and weak body curled into a ball, she held her head with her hands.
"It will be okay, okay, okay... Okay..." Neve echoed to herself repeatedly...

Neve woke up, the dish in her hand, broken. Red liquid ran down her moisturized hand. She jumped up, stepping on the dish that she had let go of after realizing it cut her, btu she kept running to the bathroom. She stepped inside the bathroom, it was cold, but she stood in front of the mirror, she touched her short black hair, looked herself in her coal balck eyes. She got some soap, rinsed the blood from her. She was nineteen, but she knew how to survive, even with the horrid flashbacks. She walked back out to the kitchen, she grabbed a broom, then started sweeping, until she dropped the broom. She bent down to pick it up when she heard the window break open...
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GlassCrystal

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PostSubject: Re: Mascara Tears   Fri Dec 07, 2007 8:48 pm

Awesomeness!! I love your story.
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Kaiti
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PostSubject: Re: Mascara Tears   Fri Dec 07, 2007 8:48 pm

Yeah, I can't think of a next chapter, but I'll figure it out soon!
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GlassCrystal

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PostSubject: Re: Mascara Tears   Sat Dec 08, 2007 8:04 am

Yay!
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Kaiti
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PostSubject: Re: Mascara Tears   Thu Dec 13, 2007 7:48 am

Chapter Three
Neve ran to the window in her bedroom. She ran in, looking around the floor, see shards among shards of broken glass. She stepped carefully over it in her barefeet, trying not to cut herself. She got over to the broken window, see a brick with a note on it.
Neve,
We all know your secrets, but do you know them? Soon you will, but hurry, the clock is ticking and if time runs out....
Somone That Can't Say

Her heart was pounding, she had no clue what the note was referring to. She grabbed the brick, and hid it under her bed. She then got dressed, grabbed her purse, and stormed out of the room...
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Witch Princess

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PostSubject: Re: Mascara Tears   Sun Dec 16, 2007 2:34 pm

It's a bit too rushed. It's like when there are 20 people having a fight it's like one died then another died then another died... and so on. It's good, but just slow it down. Because I'm not not going to put my opinion just 'cause your like the boss.
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